by: Ally Kranz
Have you ever noticed how the culture surrounding certain sports shapes the people who are involved? For instance, rock climbers and I apologize to any climber who does not fit this category. My roommate is a climber, so I’ve met a good number of them, and I always get the feeling that they don’t want to talk to me because I’m not a climber, and therefore, could never possibly add anything important to their life. I’ve even overheard one saying something similar! I think what it boils down to is that some climbers are so immersed in the climbing world that climbers make up the majority of their friends, and they don’t feel that they have anything in common with people who don’t know the joys of climbing.
But I have to admit it’s not just climbers (they just make it so obvious). This attitude can be applied to anyone who is heavily immersed in any group. People who have different tastes in music may have a harder time getting along. For instance, the number one indicator of whether two roommates will get along is musical tastes. If their music tastes are similar, there is a better chance they will get along. This also goes for deeply religious people, people of different political parties and any group that someone is heavily involved in.
I usually get upset with people who are stuck in a small closed community and are not open to new ideas or people, but I’m beginning to realize that it would be hard to think any differently when you are only surrounded by like-minded people.
21 comments:
This is my favorite post so far. I have been in similar situations thinking along very similar lines. All I can say is that I used to be one of those people, and to some extent still am. However, I have found that you can be that way if you are in a group, such as a group of climbers, and still see how much other outsiders have to offer. That, and you can always have multiple groups of friends. It's a more enriching life than just staying in a small niche.
But also think about this... that in our frustration with people that seem to be close minded and pass judgment on others for being what they may think "inferior" because they don't share the same belief system or preferances, we too are passing our own judgment on those people, making them inferior because they don't have the same "open mind" that we do. I do this all the time! I don't think that we will ever fully escape from this tendency to judge people, it's part of our human condition. Maybe the solution when we come across people or times like that is to try hard to think about how cam we make a common ground, what compromises can we personally make to see the other person without looking at them through our own ideological lenses. An example that comes to mind for me is my frustration with Health Care reform. I can't even listen to it on the radio anymore because it is just a bunch of people judging how dumb each other's policies are. It seems to be a characteristic that sort of curses politics because politicians are flawed themselves and are representing their constituents who are also flawed so everyone is just judging without making compromise.
I try to not let these issues upset me. I feel it is their choice who they wish to associate with. I also think it is their loss that they choose to only assosiated with a small group. Their ISA lot to be learned from others no matter how differnt they may be.
I can understand how easy it is to become part of a "close minded" group. If you share the same interests and opinions as the group of people you are around often, then it may be hard to realize you may not seem accepting to others.
Being a climber myself, i am able to attest to this trend, if you want to call it that. As i became more and more involved with climbing, it almost became exciting to distinguish myself amongst climbers of lesser abilities and non-climbers. There was never an intention to be condescending or self righteous, but these abilities were what was able to allow me to connect to fellow climbers of similar skill. I do not think it has affected my ability to connect with other non-climbers though, as i have many valuable connections with others based on different similarities.
I feel like the people I am closest to have similar tastes. If something interests you and you talk about it you want those listening to also be interested. However, I have also found that arguing can bring people together as well. One of my closest friends is almost the exact opposite of me so we fight a lot, but in the end we have the same sense of humor so our similarities keep us together. It's tough to break away from something comfortable, and it's not easy making new friends who don't share your interests.
I dont think there is anything wrong with this. People simply want to hang out with like-minded people. Often times its because they spend so much time together outside the social setting, for example while climbing, that it only is natural to hang out together in the social environment. This is too much of a generalization on social groups; theres no real formula for putting together a successful social dynamic. In the end its happiness.
I don't believe that this post has complete truth. Maybe some groups are like this, but not all of them. For instance, my boyfriend is very involved in road biking, but him and his friends are always willing to include other people in the fun. Maybe you just have to be more willing to listen about the sport or group, and they will welcome you into their group.
I agree there is are groups of like minded people but whenever I've shown intrest in their group, like kaykaing, they are exited and willing to teach me the ropes. There are a few people with closed minds to outsiders but why wate your time on them anyway, just look for the friendly ones
Yeah, I agree with Haley. I spend a lot of time doing lots of different activities like tennis and climbing. I have never found either group to really be exclusive. It has been my experience that most people I meet in Boulder are pretty easy going and inclusive actually.
I definitely agree that having the same taste in music is key. I mean you can only go so long listening to lady gaga before you just have to move out.
Its interesting that you noted rock climbers as a specific group that tends to be exclusive. I took a US Religions course this semester and one of the first topics we had was rock climbing as a religion. It has "sacred" texts, tools, feelings of connection with something outside the self, pilgrimage to certain sites etc.
A Professor at our school (Greg Johnson) even wrote a paper about it. Maybe this is something to consider, people who religiously practice something such as rock climbing or listen to music may feel that others will not understand the deep feelings that they get from doing so. Have you ever seen a film, or read a book, or traveled somewhere that changed your life? Have you then tried to explain this experience to others and become disheartened by their lack of enthusiasm or misunderstanding of the experience? Maybe that is why we have so many disputes in the world today, everyone wants to truly share the deep and powerful events that have shaped their lives but when they can't it leads to either fighting or even worse the "cold shoulder" where new ideas aren't even given a chance.
As a climber I can honestly say that I am way too hardcore to ever talk to you, or any other non-climber. We are simply better than you, and that is all there is to it.
We talked a lot about this in another class i was in. A main component in forming an identity is creating a circle of what's accepted within your circle and by doing so you create 'others' who do not fit. The thing about this is that each person has many identities that overlap. If you don't climb, but maybe listen to the same music there is common ground. I think its a problem to be very closed minded, but hanging out with people who have the same interests gives a sense of belonging to a group which many find comfort in.
In high school I feel that this applied to everyone. I played hockey and lacrosse in high school and it’s sad to say but I rarely strayed from hanging out with people who I didn't play sports with. Thank god college forces you to open up and spread your social groups.
This applies politically as well. People, especially in the US are so biased towards their own views. It makes it very difficult to have a dialogue over a topic; instead it always turns into a debate.
Human emancipation, which would be when humans see each other as humans only, can not exist because of the boundaries of people's ideas.
I see separation as an area of life that I am uneducated on. If individuals of groups would be willing to educate, and critically discuss opinions that they hold much of the separation would be alleviated.
I think this is just human nature. People associate with those they have the most in common with, and if they turn out to be self-absorbed pricks, well that's just bad luck. No groups, climbers in your case, are inherently standoffish, but many do become that way. It sucks but there's no getting away from it.
ROBERT SEADER
Well I definitely have to agree with this. It is true certain groups of people are exclusive and the reason for that is interests, values, abilities etc. It is good to have a variety of friends but I also have several groups that wouldn't get along with each other because they are so different and there is nothing wrong with that.
Mikaela that was awesome and exactly what I was trying to say, but failed in comparison.
Katie Witters
I agree that this is just human nature. People group to group themselves with people similar to themselves since it makes them comfortable. I don't think its intentional i just believe that everyone does it to a certain state. No offense should be taken, since your roommate probably feels like you and your friends are the same way. ITs just not fun to be set in a political setting where you are not allowed to give your point of view!
I agree that this happens all the time. As someone who swears by certain musical groups, hearing that someone either does not like them or hates them definitely lowers my opinion of them, even though that is not really justified. I feel Boulder exemplifies this type of sentiment with all the different niches around here (rock climbers, people who love phish/sts9/disco biscuits, you name it. Niches are created this way and there is no getting around it.
I have noticed that behavior mostly with climbers in Colorado. Although I do see some of it in groups of avid skiiers and snowborders, I have not seen it to the extent as climbers. There is a feeling that it is an elitist group that you can be in unless you too are as serious of a climber as they are. Although I spend alot of time with climbers and climb myself I think that diversifying your friends keeps your life interesting. In fact, lots of my closest friends have very different interests from me!
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